Ubuntu and systemic forgiveness

[Ria Baeck]

From the emaillist, Dec.'12:

Friends,

I know several of you are educators. I am hoping someone might have some ideas or resources for generating discussion among adult learners who may (but probably don't) have an understanding of how Nelson Mandela used the philosophy of Ubuntu in South Africa. Our learning objective is to understand the impact, systemic structures, and mental models for transforming a group in conflict with forgiveness.

Any ideas?

Amy Watson

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Amy,

I took a 1999 course from Desmond Tutu in which he used films (these looked like originals), dialogue and written reflection to engage learners in rational-emotive ways. Tutu's warm and powerful presence and his regular use of the word "ubuntu" in the context of " I can't be fully me until you are fully you" were amazingly transformative. Tutu also said. I acknowledge you as a fellow journeyer: "the little bit of God in me says hello to the little bit of God in you".

All the best,

Dave

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Hi Amy,

I am wondering if the Mandela approach was from the heart-vs. a mental model.

I am also interested in conflict resolution and forgiveness and I think it is a heart issue.

Best,

Sheri

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Sheri,

I believe I understand what you mean, and to the extent that I understand, I do agree.  I was just borrowing some language from systems thinking, where "mental models" is a way of talking about the way we fundamentally think, believe, and are in a system.  If our way of being (the mental model) is to protect ourselves, to believe that justice is revenge, and to "hold accountable" by identifying who is most to blame, then we will create one kind of system.  The Ubuntu way of being (mental model) seeks the truth, believes that reconciliation, peace, and compassion are justice, and believes that accountability means understanding all of the contributing factors, including contributions by the "victims" -- then we will create a very different kind of system.

 

More about "mental models" in systems thinking: http://blog.iseesystems.com/systems-thinking/what-are-mental-models/

 

Amy

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I suggest that perhaps "head" and "heart" are not so separate, but simply two dimensions of a whole human being. Indeed, I suggest that even to think of "mental models" as just "mental" is not quite accurate…If mental models are a way we think (more like what we think "with"/what defines the parameters of what we can even think!) those synapses (or whatever they are!) that fire each time we think "with" a particular way of thinking, begin to embed certain patterns of thinking into our neurobiology! So

thinking becomes embodied at a very biological level. And, If all this is happening, our mental patterns are becoming embedded in our nervous system, then that effects

our hearts - our range of emotions.

 

Not to get too "heady" about this - just want to advocate for the possibility of things being more integrated than they may appear on the face of it! Personally I find that pretty liberating.

 

Julie

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Yes Julie,

 

I think the "Berlin Wall" inside our heads between the left and the right brain is crumbling and we're building the "freeway" (freeing way) between the head and the heart and hopefully from there the freeway to the hands (actions).

 

In the end there is no such thing as a thought free of emotions. Don't we all LOVE our own MENTAL MODELS and want to bring them into the world.

Learners accept conflict and are curious about the "other". We are the ones who can allow the diversity and complexity flow towards integration.

 

Although I don't feel that we should look at "introspection" and "outrospection" as Either/Or, I think an interesting view comes from Roman Krznaric: 

RSA Animate - The Power of Outrospection

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BG46IwVfSu8&list=PL39BF9545D740E...

 

 

Thanks for the learning together

 

All the best

 

Brigitte

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Dear Amy

I will recomend you this amazing book that talks about the philosophy of Ubuntu (being-for-others as a interdependend condition for being-for-self) and Isintu (Seeing one self in the other and the oneness) as a means for personal, communal and societal transformation. It is very beautiful and full of little exercises and questions to keep the reader fully engaged.

 

'Personal Growth, African Style' - By Barbara Nussbaum, Sudhanshu Palsule and Velaphi Mkhize.

 

"Our understanding of what it means to be a leader, is to claim your whole identity as complete human beings... and with the conviction and focus born from heartfelt passion, to bring new life to the way you work, and to the way you lead."

 

Good luck with your project.

//Anne

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Dear Anne,

thank you for the recommendation. It sounds interesting. Any idea where or how it can be ordered from abroad. I can't find any way so far...
Wishing all of you a wonderful pre-Christmas time.
Love, Griet

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Dear Amy,

 

I celebrate your desire to apply the concept of Ubuntu and the South African experience to a particular group conflict!  In my work in restorative justice (with the criminal justice system and beyond) over the past 21 years I've witnessed many powerful transformations, forgiveness being offered and accepted.  It has given me hope.  I've also learned about the delicacy of forgiveness.  It's a tenet in the field that we do not raise the issue of forgiveness or suggest it, because it needs to come from the heart, be authentic, self-initiated.  Rather we try to create a space where people feel safe enough to have a conversation about things that matter to them.

 

Participants in a restorative process are invited to speak their truth in the form of personal experience, i.e. "what did you see, hear, feel; what was your experience?" and to truly listen with the heart to each other's stories.  If we are successful in creating that kind of safe space, the seeds of empathy may begin to sprout as people feel heard and respected, hearts and minds start to open to others, and forgiveness may naturally flow from that place.  After the stories have been fully told, our questions, tailored to the context, can also invite people to consider forgiveness without ever using the word, e.g.:  How can we move forward in a good way?  What do you need in order to put closure on this situation, to be able to move on?  What might we say to each other that will begin to move us forward? What can we do to repair the harm that has happened?

 

I have found that this type of deep listening and sharing happens most likely in the circle process. The model I use is one I learned from indigenous people, First Nations of the Yukon.  It is a carefully -constructed, well-tested, time-intensive process that holds great potential for any kind of conflict, and any conversation about things that matter.  It puts flesh on the concept of Ubuntu - we learn about it as we experience it (experiential learning).

 

There are times when it is not feasible to deal directly with the conflict, in which case it is still powerful to tap into people's experiences/stories in a safe space.  The personal story - "here's my experience, why I feel the way I do, see things the way I do" - is like a gentle rain penetrating and softening the hardened earth, or hearts and minds.

 

Best wishes with the challenges ahead!

 

Jean Greenwood

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Griet, I did a world wide search and found a copy in South Africa. See below.

http://www.abebooks.com/servlet/BookDetailsPL?bi=9162659115&sea...

To the group, it would be interesting to have someone in South Africa purchase a group of books for those of us who want one and ship them to one person in the US and one in Europe etc and we can then get from that person. I would be willing to buy one but do not have the connections or time to orchestrate. Any takers?

John

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Hi,  
My name is Ruth and I am from South Africa. Nelson Mandela, the person, impacted us, individuals, SA and the world with the beautiful person that he is. He has a caring, forgiving, reconciliatory nature. Therefore he is able to dialogue at any level with anyone. His dignified stature makes all of us dream to be the kind of person he is. He could therefore  Engage with the National Party and others in order to bring reconciliation and he was not alone in representing the ANC. This has been the spirit in which the ANC struggled to end Apartheid. The fight was against an oppressive system of apartheid NOT against white PEOPLE. Try to read some of the many books available by Desmond Tutu and 'Long walk to Freedom' by Nelson  Mandela.  The struggle continues  
Regards Ruth