Facilitating the groan zone

[Ria Baeck]

Late Nov.'10 there was a question posted on the AoH emaillist...

.... they want input on how to improve the facilitations of the "groan zone".
I am looking for any kind of reference that explore this further, both in terms of
1. What you need to do with yourself as a facilitator/host
2. What you need to do for the group, and help them do
3. concrete methods and tools to host "stamina in chaos" as well as convergence from a groan zone where lots of great loos threads are created, but the challenge is to buld a stong concept.

Appreciate any kind of input.
Greeting from Norway.
Oddne

Great stories and responses came!

From Dey:

I have just facilitated a workshop for over 20 people and what I decided to work with was silence.It worked wonderfully!
We came back to the circle, and we sat. They looked at me looking for answer to what was happening.
I stood there silently, carefully paying attention to be present, to be there for them. Relaxed, working on my breathing.
Suddenly they started to use the talking piece to address their concerns, where they were, etc...
They kept on asking me to participate and I kept my silence, however ensuring they feel my presence and that my attention was in them and their process. They found their own way through the groan zone, they just needed to feel they were not alone, and they were definitely not.

It seems the easy way out. I can assure you it is not.
It requires extreme awareness, attention, presence and courage.

At the end, I went to the restroom and cried.
The amount of energy that I felt/assimilated/hosted was incredible and needed to go out somehow.

After the workshop, the participants found their own conclusions and were able to move on, happy and in wonder with the way it was handled.
I am not sure what type of process you are running with your client but thought of sharing this with you, it may ring a bell and inspire something you could do/use.

Love tons,

Dey Dos

Rosa offered her way of working with it:

I found Dey's story very moving.... it leads me to wonder to what degree, we may unwittingly be prolonging a "groan zone" by our own attempts to "manage" or "coax" convergences into being.... based on the unexamined belief that we need to do so, in order for convergences to emerge.

My own experiences have been different, yet also similar in some ways... One of the similarities I see, is in what I call, "the principled refusal to 'manage' convergences"...

one of the differences is that instead of silence, I usually continue to listen and reflect back what I am hearing, and to record and to make space for any apparent "contradictions" to co-exist. This is the basic movement of Dynamic Facilitation/Dynamic Inquiry, which remains the same during both "divergence" and "convergence" phases...

any apparent "convergences" that emerge spontaneously, are only commented upon by the facilitator AFTER the fact, as we question them by inviting anyone with a different perspective to speak up, in order to prevent any group-think. This means that the convergences we are left with at the end of the process, are extremely solid... as our facilitative stance is never to attempt to "prove" them, only to "disprove" them...

this too requires a great deal of awareness, attention, presence, and courage... -- though not quite as much as in Dey's approach of complete silence!

While I would say that Dey's approach is clearly superior, maybe some folks might find DF/DI useful stepping stones, in that direction...

with all best wishes,

Rosa

And finally Kathy offered her take on it:

Love these sharings. Thank you. I bow to the presence required - especially in Dey's story but also in Rosa's. It is good to have a number of things to draw on as we move through the groan zone. I love silence. I love the call for reflection. Naming and noticing the contradictions that show up.

Depending on the process, sometimes even as we begin, we might name the possibility of hitting a groan zone. When it arrives we can then remind people of the groan zone conversation and, oh, here we are. Welcome it. Invite people to lean into it with curiousity and readiness to listen into what's there and what's wanting to emerge. I also speak very little, holding space.

It is the art of sensing into what is there and how best to support the process and the people. Letting people sit with their own discomfort, unease and questions. And, of course, we do this best when we trust the groan zone and the emergence that often happens here (experience grows our own trust) and are well grounded to stay in this fire with the group. Perseverance, resilience, presence, trust, not needing to fix it, helping people see their own learning and progress in the right timing.

Beautiful questions, beautiful stories. Thank you. Kathy