Art of Hosting in The Burren, Ireland Conversations - The Art of Hosting2024-03-29T06:28:02Zhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/groups/group/forum?groupUrl=art-of-hosting-in-the-burren&feed=yes&xn_auth=noMasculine and Femininetag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-01-27:4134568:Topic:507212012-01-27T21:32:54.671ZRose Murphyhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/RoseMurphy
<p> </p>
<p>I've been following your conversations through email and here on ning with interest and appreciation of the thought provoking comments and view points and useful links. Chris, for some reason which I have not yet fathomed, I was unable to open the file in Dropbox but managed to find Adam Kahane on a YouTube RSA talk and interview about his book - also book extract in ODE Magazine - the following piece gave me more food for thought on the Martin Luther King quote which you…</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I've been following your conversations through email and here on ning with interest and appreciation of the thought provoking comments and view points and useful links. Chris, for some reason which I have not yet fathomed, I was unable to open the file in Dropbox but managed to find Adam Kahane on a YouTube RSA talk and interview about his book - also book extract in ODE Magazine - the following piece gave me more food for thought on the Martin Luther King quote which you referenced Chris...</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 22.5pt;">"Power and love are difficult to work with because each of them has two sides. Power has a generative side and a degenerative side, and—less obviously—love also has a generative side and a degenerative side. Feminist scholar Paola Melchiori pointed out to me that we can see these two sets of two sides if we look at historically constructed gender roles. The father, embodying masculine power, goes out to work, to do his job. The generative side of his power is that he can create something valuable in the world. The degenerative side of his power is that he can become so focused on his work that he denies his connection to his colleagues and family, and so becomes a robot or a tyrant. </p>
<p style="margin: 22.5pt 0cm;">The mother, by contrast, embodying feminine love, stays at home to raise the children. The generative side of her love is that she gives life, literally to her child and figuratively to her whole family. The degenerative side of her love is that she can become so identified with her child and family that she denies their and especially her own need for self-realization, and so stunts their and her own growth.</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 22.5pt;"><span style="color: #ff6600;">Love is what makes power generative instead of degenerative. Power is what makes love generative instead of degenerative. Power and love are therefore exactly complementary. In order for each to achieve its full potential, it needs the other</span>.”</p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 22.5pt;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 22.5pt;"> </p>
<p style="margin-bottom: 22.5pt;"> </p> Castles and Battlefieldstag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-01-24:4134568:Topic:505772012-01-24T12:19:04.379ZChris Chapmanhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/ChrisChapman
<p>Just remembered that I had intended to write something about this metaphor that feels very close to what we were working with :</p>
<p></p>
<p>Roger Harrison (same guy I got the fear bit from) recalls using the metaphor in 1963 :</p>
<p></p>
<p>'The battlefield is where people disagree, where one's expectations are disconfirmed and where authority figures behave in unpredictable ways. The Castle is where people are allowed to have their defenses, hang on to their old ideas, and resist…</p>
<p>Just remembered that I had intended to write something about this metaphor that feels very close to what we were working with :</p>
<p></p>
<p>Roger Harrison (same guy I got the fear bit from) recalls using the metaphor in 1963 :</p>
<p></p>
<p>'The battlefield is where people disagree, where one's expectations are disconfirmed and where authority figures behave in unpredictable ways. The Castle is where people are allowed to have their defenses, hang on to their old ideas, and resist change. I came to believe that a good learning situation should provide both castle and battlefield'</p>
<p></p>
<p>1963 feels like a long time ago. Nearly 50 years on I think we know a lot more about 'fields' per se - complex places of great interconnectedness, where there may be battles sometimes, but where there is a lot more going on than just battles.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Anyway, if ever anyone wants to play more with the castle / field metaphor, we know just the place !</p>
<p></p>
<p><a href="http://www.majestic-castles-in-ireland.com/newtown-castle.html">http://www.majestic-castles-in-ireland.com/newtown-castle.html</a></p>
<p></p>
<p></p> Feartag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-01-24:4134568:Topic:503702012-01-24T10:34:26.978ZChris Chapmanhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/ChrisChapman
<p>Hiya</p>
<p></p>
<p>I was remembering how strong the theme of fear was in our check-in at the Burren and came across the below in one of my favourite books this morning</p>
<p></p>
<p>(The book is 'Consultants Journey : A Dance of Work and Spirit' by Roger Harrison)</p>
<p></p>
<p>He writes :</p>
<p></p>
<p>'I came to understand the central role of fear as a barrier to conflict resolution, problem solving, and even learning in organisations. Therefore an important part of our program was…</p>
<p>Hiya</p>
<p></p>
<p>I was remembering how strong the theme of fear was in our check-in at the Burren and came across the below in one of my favourite books this morning</p>
<p></p>
<p>(The book is 'Consultants Journey : A Dance of Work and Spirit' by Roger Harrison)</p>
<p></p>
<p>He writes :</p>
<p></p>
<p>'I came to understand the central role of fear as a barrier to conflict resolution, problem solving, and even learning in organisations. Therefore an important part of our program was its focus on reducing one's own and other's <em>fear of loss.</em> The idea is simple, yet the implications are huge. When people are operating at high levels of fear they are not very good problem solvers. Fear narrows the range of alternatives people can consider. Fear reduces their ability to take in and process information, especially if it is complex. Fear predisposes them to premature closure and precipitate reactions. High fear leads people to persevere in tactics and strategies that are not working'</p>
<p></p>
<p>Given the times and context we are in, I think it is usually healthy to name 'fear' and discuss how we deal with it, provided their is enough container to make this reasonably safe.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Mindfulness is clearly relevant, as is anything that builds trust and relationships and anything that helps us distinguish the rational and irrational.</p>
<p></p>
<p>Creating a climate in which people can name their fear can be quite counter-cultural - helping people to talk about the things we don't normally talk about.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I think there was some genuine depth tapped into in that check-in and there may be a seam here that needs more prominence within the AoH whole.</p>
<p></p>
<p>I'd be very interested in any thoughts / reflections others may have ...</p> Blog reflectionstag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-01-11:4134568:Topic:492282012-01-11T17:20:52.876ZPaul Z Jacksonhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/PaulZJackson
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Introductions</span></p>
<p>Early in the first session of this three-day gathering we are told we’ll do several introductions. A nice idea that seems consistent with the perspective of hosting: a host at a party will typically need to make many introductions – of people to each other, of topics, of ways in which the event may unfold.</p>
<p>These were ‘introduce yourself’ introductions. And the first was an invitation to say your name and two words…</p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Introductions</span></p>
<p>Early in the first session of this three-day gathering we are told we’ll do several introductions. A nice idea that seems consistent with the perspective of hosting: a host at a party will typically need to make many introductions – of people to each other, of topics, of ways in which the event may unfold.</p>
<p>These were ‘introduce yourself’ introductions. And the first was an invitation to say your name and two words people tend to associate with you. While the phrase ‘poor golfer’ flashed across my mind, Chris Chapman explained that ‘invitation’ meant we didn’t necessarily have to stick to only two words. And indeed few did.</p>
<p>The next round of introductions was in a circle, with 30 or so people sitting for the next hour or so in those red plastic chairs that tend to prove uncomfortable after about 20 minutes.</p>
<p>Passing a walking stick that we called a ‘talking stick’ clockwise from person to person, each stick holder spoke in answer to the question, “What makes your heart beat faster?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;">Powerful Conversations That Matter</span></p>
<p>For Powerful Conversations That Matter, Chris Corrigan offered four suggestions.</p>
<p>1 Presence – for example, turn off your telephones and remove distractions from the outside world.</p>
<p>2 Participate. We’re invited to participate. A well-crafted invitation is more likely to produce more participation.</p>
<p>3 Be a practitioner of the Art of Hosting. A host prepares the space – the layout of the room is not accidental. As a host, bring the gift of listening carefully and asking questions.</p>
<p>4 Co-create. This, Chris says can be difficult. I’m not so sure: I lean to a view that says we are co-creating whether we want to or not, so degrees of ease of difficulty don’t come into it.</p>
<p>Chris suggests that we face challenges that we don’t know what to do with individually. We are asking for help and therefore are well advised to make good use of the gift of attention. </p>
<p>My co-construction with this would be to suggest that what we choose to attend to (especially together) will have significant impact on what we co-construct. And so asking more productive questions will tend to engender more productive co-constructions.</p> Notes from Pro Action Cafe strand re 'CLDI' - an Ireland based Community of Practicetag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-01-11:4134568:Topic:489812012-01-11T14:32:47.394ZChris Chapmanhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/ChrisChapman
<div><em>(CLDI - stands for Collaborative Leadership Development Initiative - it is a deliberately clumsy holding name waiting for a better name to emerge - about 50 people are in it at the moment)</em></div>
<div>- the physical representation that came to us was a circle of friends, but something organic that could morph, split and un-split into different shapes at different times</div>
<div>- thinking of this 'cldi' thing in terms of lifestages feels important, not just being concerned with…</div>
<div><em>(CLDI - stands for Collaborative Leadership Development Initiative - it is a deliberately clumsy holding name waiting for a better name to emerge - about 50 people are in it at the moment)</em></div>
<div>- the physical representation that came to us was a circle of friends, but something organic that could morph, split and un-split into different shapes at different times</div>
<div>- thinking of this 'cldi' thing in terms of lifestages feels important, not just being concerned with how it is now or in any particular moment, but thinking of it as something that will evolve, possibly grow up and like all of us certainly die in due course - 'I think my personal relationship with it will be different at different stages' - there isn't one right way to be with it</div>
<div>- the play piece is very important, and particularly 'playing with friends' - 'I am aware of several possibilities bubbling up in the background that may well soon emerge as manifestations of this'</div>
<div>and then my personal notes ....</div>
<div>- I feel the teaching and 'process artist' parts of what I do are coming to the fore and that more often I am going to sit back and let others do more of the hosting</div>
<div>- It will be healthy for me if my work has more of a place connection - that may be in Carlow where I live and / or it may be in the eco-village in Tipperary where I feel very connected and I'd like to think a bit of it is in the Burren too, which is just magical as a place</div>
<div>- I need to be more conscious of the option of disappearing and letting others get on with stuff - I need to check with others sometimes 'might this be a good time for me to disappear ?'</div>
<div>- I need to think intentionally and internationally in terms of a coach / mentor like person for myself.</div>
<div>(a rather lengthy version of a Statement of Purpose is attached)</div> We Had Tired of Confusion poem - gifted on to us from Mary Staceytag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-01-09:4134568:Topic:486832012-01-09T18:21:52.516ZChris Chapmanhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/ChrisChapman
<p><i><font face="Calibri" size="3">We Had Tired of Confusion – Roger Lipsey</font></i></p>
<p><i><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></i></p>
<p><i><font face="Calibri" size="3">We had tired of confusion, stupidity, and evil<br></br> And so we climbed the mountain to see<br></br> From a great height, through clearest air,<br></br> The grand design. We saw the abstract<br></br> Of experience: the sacred algorithm<br></br> That shakes itself into ten thousand forms and lives,<br></br> Sets the swarm in motion though…</font></i></p>
<p><i><font face="Calibri" size="3">We Had Tired of Confusion – Roger Lipsey</font></i></p>
<p><i><font face="Calibri" size="3"> </font></i></p>
<p><i><font face="Calibri" size="3">We had tired of confusion, stupidity, and evil<br/> And so we climbed the mountain to see<br/> From a great height, through clearest air,<br/> The grand design. We saw the abstract<br/> Of experience: the sacred algorithm<br/> That shakes itself into ten thousand forms and lives,<br/> Sets the swarm in motion though it is simple in itself,<br/> Even slightly naive.<br/> <br/> We were dazzled. But my wife was soon uneasy.<br/> 'I miss little things,' she said. 'I can’t see threads or bugs<br/> Or harmless errors. I can’t see second tries.<br/> Can we go down the mountain just a bit?<br/> <br/> And so we turned from the source<br/> And descended to a col at middle height<br/> Where the view was narrower but scarcely less grand.<br/> To our surprise we heard voices, wing beats,<br/> Newborns wailing, leaves unfolding from moist stems,<br/> Footsteps, breaths... And conspiracy, bloodshed, folly.<br/> Light and dark mix there: the sacred algorithm hesitates,<br/> Shivers like a doubting creature, and resumes its faithful plunge.<br/> <br/> We were dazzled. But my wife was uneasy.<br/> 'I hear our niece weeping,' she said. 'We must go to her.'<br/> And so we left the mountain and dined that evening<br/> With our niece, who needed only kindness to smile again.<br/> But I could not free myself from longing to return to the heights:<br/> Like the faint scent of incense after a ceremony,<br/> Memories of our expedition hung in the air. Until one day:<br/> <br/> 'Look,' she said - and held up to the light a tiny object.<br/> 'I found it this morning when I was planting green peas!'<br/> It was a perfect replica of the sacred algorithm,<br/> Pulsing with milky light, slightly naive, entirely blessed.<br/> 'Shall we plant it?'</font></i></p> Check in poemtag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-01-08:4134568:Topic:486062012-01-08T15:46:14.486ZChris Corriganhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/ChrisCorrigan
<p>Harvested from the check in:</p>
<p class="p1">Uisce. Flow. Water.</p>
<p class="p1">a fifth</p>
<p class="p1">the new province that arises when dignity is present</p>
<p class="p1">the empty water of creation</p>
<p class="p1">the blankness of beginning.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">What makes your heart beat faster?</p>
<p class="p1">What rushes the courage and heats the blood?</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Excitement and fear</p>
<p class="p1">last going first here…</p>
<p>Harvested from the check in:</p>
<p class="p1">Uisce. Flow. Water.</p>
<p class="p1">a fifth</p>
<p class="p1">the new province that arises when dignity is present</p>
<p class="p1">the empty water of creation</p>
<p class="p1">the blankness of beginning.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">What makes your heart beat faster?</p>
<p class="p1">What rushes the courage and heats the blood?</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Excitement and fear</p>
<p class="p1">last going first here</p>
<p class="p1">the anxiety of a shallow chance</p>
<p class="p1">the thought of a simple dance</p>
<p class="p1">and the possibilities of a romance between</p>
<p class="p1">a heart and head and a gut that finds home</p>
<p class="p1">in a circle that puts me on the land.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Attend to the heart that comes alive in the poetry</p>
<p class="p1">of dangerous and noble things</p>
<p class="p1">beauty that sings in rearranged rings</p>
<p class="p1">being unsure, feeling the rise and fall of risk</p>
<p class="p1">feeling the belonging and the bloodrush of</p>
<p class="p1">an argument between beloved</p>
<p class="p1">or the vicarious experience of watching my sons</p>
<p class="p1">move their bodies on the pitch</p>
<p class="p1">feeling the itch to play, but staying away,</p>
<p class="p1">reaching them only with a pulse.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">There is a dulcet tone to the stern declaration of clarity</p>
<p class="p1">a resonance with the parity of intention</p>
<p class="p1">an invitation that pulls at the rush.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Fear again. and guilt, the history that has built up in me</p>
<p class="p1">from years of inaction and inactivity, seeing the faces illuminated by fire</p>
<p class="p1">the blaze outside, a circle of ideas with traction that return to inaction</p>
<p class="p1">and a guilted edge.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Fear again. And love. But knowing I am not alone,</p>
<p class="p1">makes my heart beat faster, a rush to calm, a balm to relax.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Fear attacks my exposure, but my heart explodes at connections</p>
<p class="p1">and inspiration, inquiry and conversation, open and vulnerable.</p>
<p class="p1">Excitement occupies my court, shuttles my attention</p>
<p class="p1">through my child's imagination, a series of creations,</p>
<p class="p1">the flow of uisce the joy that.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Fear again. adrenaline. energy that becomes passion</p>
<p class="p1">that fashions my fear into excitement, turns flee to stay,</p>
<p class="p1">fall into the interaction with people that make me race.</p>
<p class="p1">A tap on the ground, a stick on the earth, </p>
<p class="p1">the surprise of the birth of the unexpected world</p>
<p class="p1">creeping death robs my breath of length</p>
<p class="p1">and the collapse here seems set to change us this year.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">This is a perfect time to chime, but I couldn't manage it all.</p>
<p class="p1">My heart races at sight of love and the lost chance to have given love</p>
<p class="p1">and at the discovery of a map that helps me find the world that </p>
<p class="p1">has always been there.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">The promise of books, the promise of possibility, </p>
<p class="p1">and the hostile reality of the promise of death</p>
<p class="p1">the syncronicity of a blossoming next breath</p>
<p class="p1">and the empathy of vulnerability and a tube of red lipstick.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">In my heart is a hill that is climbed when my heart finds the view </p>
<p class="p1">of transformed life right in my midst or in the travel of new place.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">The fear and terror of skiing at the edge of my ability</p>
<p class="p1">under a big beautiful Canadian sky, and of being that same guy</p>
<p class="p1">off the hill, doing a new thing, diving into the cold of some kind of vulnerable</p>
<p class="p1">nakedness know that it could be brilliant in the end</p>
<p class="p1">and calls you to get in it again.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Life is about learning how to play and dance in the rain.</p>
<p class="p1">It is about the way things change ,the chance of pain transformed</p>
<p class="p1">to confidence and joy.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Fearlessness has me forgetting the edges of excitement and fear</p>
<p class="p1">the joyfulness of free play, the best and worst of people</p>
<p class="p1">drawn away from unconscious living</p>
<p class="p1">and into the giving of passion to each other</p>
<p class="p1">away from a compliant calm.</p>
<p class="p1">to a knowledge of power </p>
<p class="p1">and not to cower from the responsibility</p>
<p class="p1">of speaking clearly to the centre</p>
<p class="p1">and letting it mentor my heart into a full </p>
<p class="p1">embrace of my kids and the pride that hides there.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p1">Love catches me by the chin and draws me in to presence,</p>
<p class="p1">to my connections to kin, the lessons of children</p>
<p class="p1">the moments in which I am fully awake.</p>
<p class="p1">My heart races when I know I belong to this nature </p>
<p class="p1">when I see eyes light up and know I am never alone</p>
<p class="p1">engaged in the long hope of</p>
<p class="p1">being right here.</p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p class="p2"></p>
<p></p>