About the talking piece - The Art of Hosting2024-03-29T09:48:45Zhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/forum/topics/about-the-talking-piece?commentId=4134568%3AComment%3A48101&feed=yes&xn_auth=noSome more on the talking piec…tag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-07-22:4134568:Comment:574162012-07-22T21:27:00.245ZRia Baeckhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/RiaBaeck
<p><em>Some more on the talking piece:</em></p>
<p><font color="#006600"><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Courage comes from telling the story of who we are with our whole heart....<br></br><br></br>I have been following the replies to the Talking Piece conversation and I observe the pattern of "fear" to use it in a "professional" environment.<br></br><br></br>What is it professional anyway?<br></br>Where is our courage to bring along with us as hosts what we believe it works?<br></br>How can we tell the story…</font></font></p>
<p><em>Some more on the talking piece:</em></p>
<p><font color="#006600"><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Courage comes from telling the story of who we are with our whole heart....<br/><br/>I have been following the replies to the Talking Piece conversation and I observe the pattern of "fear" to use it in a "professional" environment.<br/><br/>What is it professional anyway?<br/>Where is our courage to bring along with us as hosts what we believe it works?<br/>How can we tell the story of our practice with our whole hearts when we may seem to be paralyzed by the fear of looking unprofessional?<br/><br/>Just questions that keep on coming to my mind every time I read a new post...<br/><br/>Love tons,<br/>Dey Dos</font></font></p>
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<p><font color="navy" face="Arial" size="2">Hello,</font></p>
<p><font color="navy" face="Arial" size="2">As I practice The Way of Council, the talking piece is a central part of that practice. I was taught and have seen that the talking piece is a focusing agent. If you find that your attention has wandered, come back to the person who is holding the talking piece. If you find that emotional reactivity is creeping up on you, focus on that talking piece, reminding yourself of who has the floor, that your turn will come and that your work when someone else has the talking piece is to listen from the heart to that person, regardless of whether you agree or not or find the person interesting or not, etc.</font></p>
<p><font color="navy" face="Arial" size="2">In the book <i>The Way of Council</i>, Jack Zimmerman tells of being called to a car dealership in Florida back in the day when the sales staff was comprised strictly of men and the support staff strictly women. It was not a time or place in which anyone in the room would likely have ever heard of anything like meeting in a circle, etc. Jack knew that the selection of the talking piece would be important in helping the men to feel comfortable. He chose a paperweight model of the type of car sold at the dealership that he spotted on the desk of the owner.</font></p>
<p><font color="navy" face="Arial" size="2">I find that if one introduces the talking piece and the reason for it, there is acceptance, even gratitude. It helps to hold the form of what we are doing. It helps us to know that we have chosen to spend some time together in a way that is different from our ordinary meetings. After all, isn’t that why you were invited?</font></p>
<p><font color="navy" face="Arial" size="2">And yes, I have used a microphone as a talking piece though it would not be my first choice.</font></p>
<p><font color="navy" face="Arial" size="2">In gratitude,</font></p>
<p><font color="navy" face="Arial" size="2">Lauri Austein<br/></font></p>
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<p><font color="navy" face="Arial" size="2"><font color="#006600"><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif">Beautiful Lori!<br/><br/>I have witnessed in first hand how in corporate environments, the usage of the talking piece takes the whole conversation to the next level, where gratitude is openly manifested as you mentioned. In those cases, the process have been described as unique and powerful, I do believe they will agree to say that has been the most "professional" way of handling a conversation they have experienced. <br/> <br/>Out of curiosity, I have decided to go back to some of my corporate customers to explore their perception of the professionalism in the usage of the talking piece, I know that some of my customers use it in their meetings when they find the need for it, it will be cool to get some more straight forward insights from them.<br/> <br/>Love tons,<br/><br/>Dey </font></font></font></p>
<p><font color="#006600"><font face="arial,helvetica,sans-serif"> </font></font></p> Thanks for sharing,
I used to…tag:artofhosting.ning.com,2012-01-04:4134568:Comment:481242012-01-04T19:18:19.615ZPablo Villochhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/PabloVilloch
<p>Thanks for sharing,</p>
<p>I used to handle a stone from Lake Titicaca as a talking piece. I used to tell the story of the stone since it was a bunch of sand millenia ago. It helped the circle to connect with a long term perspective of time, the geological sense of time.</p>
<p>Now, I also use an anti-stress ball with a world map. It is interesting how people reacts when they feel they have the "world in their hands". Some people handle it carefully, while others suddenly feel powerful, and…</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing,</p>
<p>I used to handle a stone from Lake Titicaca as a talking piece. I used to tell the story of the stone since it was a bunch of sand millenia ago. It helped the circle to connect with a long term perspective of time, the geological sense of time.</p>
<p>Now, I also use an anti-stress ball with a world map. It is interesting how people reacts when they feel they have the "world in their hands". Some people handle it carefully, while others suddenly feel powerful, and others just play with it. Some people throw it, some others feel guilty if the ball falls. Anyway, it helps the circle to bring the planet and a global perspective to connect it with the local conversation.</p>
<p>Kind regards from Chile,</p>
<p></p>
<p>Pablo</p> And more on the talking piece…tag:artofhosting.ning.com,2011-12-27:4134568:Comment:481012011-12-27T17:00:34.622ZRia Baeckhttp://artofhosting.ning.com/profile/RiaBaeck
<p><em>And more on the talking piece</em>:</p>
<div dir="ltr"><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma" size="2">I agree that a professional tape recorder, or digital/visual recording devices of any kind, might never be an easy first choice as a talking piece. There are circumstances in which the call comes from the group itself. Working with folks that society treats as discarded, for example, after the untimely death of one of our members the group wanted to capture their stories and images so…</font></div>
<p><em>And more on the talking piece</em>:</p>
<div dir="ltr"><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma" size="2">I agree that a professional tape recorder, or digital/visual recording devices of any kind, might never be an easy first choice as a talking piece. There are circumstances in which the call comes from the group itself. Working with folks that society treats as discarded, for example, after the untimely death of one of our members the group wanted to capture their stories and images so that they didn't pass unremarked.</font></div>
<div dir="ltr"><font color="#000000" face="Tahoma" size="2">"When we lost Eric, we lost so much" as one said, "why didn't we take photographs, record his story. He is only in our memories." said another. This group doesn't have cell phones to take pictures or the means to access things many of us take for granted. Access to photographs, to cameras and recorders of any kind may have been negative experiences in the past (i.e. may only have been through the criminal justice system) but the group wanted a way to tell their stories in ways that live on. We began to work with technology in a different way and out of this came a powerful digital story that used photographs they had taken and video snippets and tape recorded voices... A talking piece that dressed up and went out on the town, so to speak....</font></div>
<div dir="ltr"><font face="tahoma" size="2">with an aching heart, from a witness to the violence of a different kind following the Stanley Cup riots - in Vancouver.</font></div>
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<div dir="ltr"><font face="tahoma" size="2">Theresa</font></div>
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<div dir="ltr"><font face="tahoma" size="2"><font face="tahoma" size="2">This is an interesting conversational thread. Curiosity leads me to question, "What lies beneath the discomfort around using a talking piece and how might we talk about that rather than about its form?" </font></font><div>Margaret</div>
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<div>Hi all, <div>I am so glad I took some time to read the dialogue about the talking stick. I use a naturally heart shaped rock I found while hiking on a trail near my home for my Mind-Body Skills groups. I have not been "brave" enough to use one when I do consulting work for organizations and I have missed it there. I think now I feel empowered to try it next time. For me, it is because I am already bringing in many new ideas such as "soft-belly breathing" and even "shaking and dancing" that create a feeling of disbelief, followed by relief at the benefit. I try to maintain a sense of "corporateness" so that they will not feel too threatened by the too many things at once. </div>
<div>The other issue for me in consulting is that we are not sitting in a wonderful circle either and so it is often difficult to easily pass a "talking stick" to another. I love the idea though and hope to continue evolving my work and creating an ever greater impact.</div>
<div>Warmly,</div>
<div>Beth</div>
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<div>Note: a microphone serves as a de facto talking stick. Sometimes calling folks' attention to that makes it easier for them to see the value/point of using another object, and makes it seem less touchy-feely.<br clear="all"/><font style="color: #666666;" size="1"><br/>Have a great day!<br/><br/>Kat Morgan</font></div>
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<div><font style="color: #666666;" size="1"><font style="color: #666666;" size="1">Dear Margaret,</font></font>
<div>I share your curiosity about the underlying thread of this conversation. Although I don't doubt that this is obviously a needed conversation for many I felt myself so absorbed by the conversation about the immediacy of the happenings in Greece that I easily judged it as secondary at first. I am learning again and again... that everything is a potential opportunity to learn more.</div>
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<div>"Does the talking piece and how or what kind we apply in different contexts" give us some indication of how we are hosting ourselves and our work in the world?" -that's what I'm asking myself right now.</div>
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<div> "How can we remain conscious and compassionate in the face of violence"? this question stays with me since I am reading the messages and watched the videos from Greece. And "isn't what we all deal within our work a question of how we heal the internalised structural violence which is at the core of what we want to transform?"</div>
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<div>Best wishes to everyone</div>
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<div>and especially to our friends in Greece</div>
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<div>Brigitte</div>
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